Fighting

Lately, I feel like I'm fighting to protect myself.

Within every conflict, there is a choice available to me. I'd be happy to sit back and let the right way happen along, but situations don't always clear on their own. Sometimes, like, say, when you have a bug infestation, you have to take action. And that action might include being featured in a New York Times article.

Or, maybe, if you haven't been paid by your new job, you might decide to dedicate a day to camping out in the HR reception area until they're sick enough of looking at you that they do the right thing.

But when it comes to personal issues (family, relationships) it's not quite as clear. I'm battling for my own happiness, my sanity, and my self. I'm exhausted by the struggle.

4 years ago, I left someone and something horrible, and I chose to survive. And, shortly after that, chose not just to survive, but to fight. I move back and forth every day with the meaning of this. Sometimes I am strong, and sometimes I feel weak.

But it's always me.