How To Be An Awesome Newlywed, Part 2

1. Register for a half marathon.
2. Realize that the only training time your schedule will allow is mornings before work.
3. Set the alarm clock for 5:47 am.
4. Unintentionally wake your husband up at that time.
5. Go running.
6. Return to your apartment.
7. Intentionally wake your husband up by loudly proclaiming your awesomeness.
8. Ask for (and give) many enthusiastic high-fives.
9. Refuse to believe that he could possibly be tired.
10. Engage in more discussions about your awesomeness.
11. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

How To Be An Awesome Newlywed

1. Keep your husband awake until 1:00 am by forcing him to watch Save The Last Dance, a movie he has no interest in seeing.
2. The next morning, wake him up by poking him in the ribs. Repeatedly.
3. Continue to poke and prod him as he goes through his morning routine.
4. Sit next to him on the couch, be ridiculous, laugh hysterically at your own ridiculousness.
5. Get annoyed when he refuses to participate.

Tip Of The Day

Don't attempt to eat soup with a fork.

Carry on.

Very Sensible

Yesterday, after a disappointing (but not surprising) meeting with a possible employer, I took myself shopping.

Shopping? Isn't that just a little irresponsible, given your current state of unemployment?

No - and I can counter with these arguments:

1) I needed a present for B for our one year anniversary, and
2) Who am I to deprive myself of a little something while I'm shopping for him? also
3) If it put it on my Banana card, it's not like real money is being spent anyway, plus
4) I bought a new business suit for any interviews that might come up in the near future, which
5) Is actually very sound financial planning, besides
6) I am still seeing my institute clients at $6.00/hour, so I *do * have some income, as well as,
7) I've qualified for the top level of unemployment benefits

Reiki

Last night, I attended a very, very introductory reiki training. One of the most interesting things that I learned prompted this exchange:

[ridiculouschick]: apparently you can do it on animals. stewbert - watch out!
[THE LAWYER]: STEWBERT WILL BE CALM AND SEDATED AFTER YOU BEGIN HIS SESSIONS. A WHOLE NEW DOG.
[ridiculouschick]: the thing is with reiki that you need to get permission from the receiver. how do you do that with a dog?
[THE LAWYER]: PERHAPS EVERY TIME HE RELIEVES HIMSELF IN THE HOUSE IT’S HIS WAY OF CONSENTING TO A REIKI SESSION.

Support, Friendship, and All That Gooey Stuff

The Lawyer: "You have so much going on and being pulled in all directions. Do your best to remain calm. Which makes me think of that scene from airplane when Leslie Neilsen says everyone remain calm and pandemonium breaks out on the plane."

Fage Rage

When attempting to drain the liquid that accumulates on the top of yogurt, do not tilt the container too much. The incorrect angle will result in a) wasting $1.79, b) losing your afternoon snack, and c) tears.

Rock On

When, after spending a day with your family (as we did Saturday) while your niece was having one of her "difficult" days and your parents are, well, your parents and you get back to the city too late to do any of the things that you were hoping to do (mostly, the gym) and you're running late, making The Librarian wait for you, and you have no time for dinner, and you know how cranky you can get when you're hungry...

...Stoli Razz and soda and rockin' out to this song can be helpful:


Note: Joe's Pub looked a little different from this video - thank doG.

Tip of the Day

If you hope to maintain your physical fitness, taking an 8 month "break" after completing a half marathon is not a good idea.

(Upon further reflection, the start of the downfall was the 2 week "break" that I allowed myself directly after the race. There's just no coming back from that.)

Where's 'Terrible Terry Tate' When You Need Him?

Dear Drunk English Tourist Heckler at New York Comedy Club:

Next time, shut the fuck up and let the comedians do their acts. I don't care "how comedy goes" in England. Seriously. Shut up.

xoxox,
ridiculouschick

Thanks Honey

While I was getting dressed for work this morning, B noted that I was wearing pants again.

And then he asked if I was Hilary Clinton.

Doesn't he know that there is reason and logic involved here? That if I wear a skirt to work, I obviously need to wear my black high-heeled boots. But there's a 6 block walk to the office from the subway to consider. I can't very well wear other shoes for the walk because a) sneakers with tights look ridiculous in a bad way and b) boots are cumbersome to carry.

And if I can get past all of that, it is very uncomfortable to be in high heels all day.

Sheesh.

Ireland

I went to Ireland hoping thatr I could duplicate the idyllic picture on the front of this travel book. But none of the sheep seemed to want to cuddle with me. Strange.

Don't go to Ireland if you want to eat healthily. Or if you're opposed to drinking every day as soon as it hits 12 o'clock.

Also, it's probably a bad idea to see a short-ish Irish guy and tackle him, claiming that he is a leprechan and refusing to let go until he leads you to his "pot o' gold".

Not engaging with the crazy-eyed drunk man is also a good suggestion, especially when he starts muttering about his impending trip to NYC in November and some "unfinished business" that he needs to attend to.

The Librarian and I spent a fair amount of time on InishMore
drinking beer (Guinness for me, Harp for her) and then building "CanHenge". I think she has video of this. *Please note* we both have advanced degrees. And yes, we know that Stonehenge is not in Ireland.

Temple Bar is the "Meatpacking District" of Dublin. Annoying.

Most Irish people are friendly even when they figure out that you're American, the rare exception being those who will start yelling about George Bush and war mongering.

Lager and lime is just as tasty as it was in 1993 when I was in London.

Research

When you're still absolutely exhausted, and don't know what is wrong with you, 'The Internets' is a pretty good research tool.

However, information obtained here, here, and here can be a little scary...

(She hasn't said so specifically, but I'm sure my doctor appreciates my assistance and self-diagnosis. Yep. She does.)

Your Upper Lip Is Part Of Your Face, I Guess

As I discovered this morning, the people at Nair are not kidding when they warn that you cannot use that stuff on your face.

More Running Advice

Suggestion To Self: In the future, schedule long training runs on Saturday, rather than Sunday, as Saturday night tends to be a difficult time to practice common sense.

Case In Point: EB's bachelorette party on Saturday night in which massive amounts of Mexican food, tequila and [shudder] Jager-bombs are consumed, followed by 11.5 miles on Sunday morning at 8:00 am. (Who was I to say no? I was surrounded by a pack of 26 year olds and felt duty bound to represent the over-30 age group.)

Let's put it this way - you did not want to be anywhere near me during that run.

The only comfort I can glean from this experience is that next weekend's race should be easier without yesterday's obstacles.

Running Advice

Don't wear a thong while you're running long distances.

Just take my word on this one.