Great Moments In Dubbing History

When watching a movie on The CW11, "Jesus Christ" becomes "Cheese & Rice."

(This may have eclipsed a previous Moment captured by my brother a few years back where "Fucking Asshole" became "Viking Eggroll.")


Day 2, Sick

Failing to amuse myself with Gatorade, Cup O' Soup, or any one of our gazillion movie channels, I've chosen to harass the dog:


A Long Time Ago We Used To Be Friends, But I Haven't Thought of You Lately At All

The good news is that there is some movement on the legal stuff to get my money back from my ex.

The bad news is that (I think) my favorite burrito place served me up a portion of food poisoning last night.


As It Turns Out...

It is not very difficult to secure your very own yurt for one night. Yes, I will be able to fulfill my (one day old) dream of living in a yurt.

ridiculous: "I made the reservation! We're going to stay in the yurt!"
B: "Ugh."
ridiculous: "I'm the happiest girl in the world!"
B: "Ugh."
ridiculous: It's gonna be great!"
B: "Did it say something on that website about showers and restrooms being 'a short stroll away'? And they might have to loan us a flashlight?"
ridiculous: "It's gonna be great!"


Yurt! Yurt! Yurt!

After weeks of trying to ignore my low-level anxiety regarding our lack of planning for our upcoming trip to California (we're leaving March 8!), I've spent the morning researching options.

I'm hoping that we'll spend one night in Big Sur, even though B is not much of an outdoor enthusiast (Read: not at all, unless he happens to be camping on 23rd Street and 7th Avenue to audition for Last Comic Standing. And even then - not so much.)

I believe I've found a place that will make both of us happy: here! Right near the ocean...outdoor heated pool and jacuzzi...moderately priced. Best of all, accomodations are in "yurts". I'm not entirely clear what a "yurt" is, or what it stands for, but I know this: I absolutely HAVE to stay in one.

And then possibly have a t-shirt made that tells EVERYONE that I have slept in a "yurt".


I've Changed

This morning, I found myself completely aggravated and frustrated because I didn't get a seat on the shuttle bus.

Reread that.

Perhaps I should have been celebrating the fact that I can step right outside my building and board free transportation which takes me directly to the subway (the station even has an escalator that I refuse to walk down, because... I'm lazy I have my reasons).

Or that I now have doormen. And an elevator (3, in fact).

But no. There I was at 8:31 am, rolling my eyes, tapping my feet, and muttering to myself. Unbelievable.

The girl, apparently, has been taken out of Hell's Kitchen.

(And this post doesn't even address why I didn't get a seat, which was because I was late going downstairs because I took some extra time this morning whining to B about being crampy and not wanting to go to school or work.)


I Rule

Due to the impacts of a tequila-filled night at Arriba Arriba, I rescheduled my long run from Sunday to Monday. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling too well yesterday either, due to a Sunday Supper @ Seven at LDK's house.

Nonetheless, I ran 4 miles. It wasn't pretty (in fact, it took until about an hour afterwards for me to stop sweating) and it wasn't fast - but I did it.



Bad Idea Jeans

If you're already having a semi-crap-filled day, reading Ann Crittenden's thoughts on motherhood during your lunch hour isn't likely to improve your mood.

Upon blog review, last year at this time I made myself a cake. This is probably a better plan.


My Bad

A few weeks ago, I sent an email out to my possible running mates (OrangemanMike, The Reporter, Bons, and V) which included a training program and the information that we would need to start said training program on February 17.

I just looked at my calendar and (fo' shizz!) that was the wrong date.

Training should have started this week. So now I'm already behind .6 miles for Tuesday, and 2 miles today since I elected to stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes (oh! the luxury). And I'm not quite sure what the 4 mile run on Sunday will look like (hint: not good).

Grumble, grumble, grumble.



After weeks of half-heartedly looking through ads on Craigslist, B and I decided yesterday that we are staying in our current apartment until October.

Now that we've committed for another 8 months, it makes perfect sense that I have been looking at apartment sales listings all afternoon and forwarding the particularly unattainable (a one bedroom on the UWS for only $697,000 with an $1100 monthly maintenance fee - sure!) along to B. I've fallen in love with at least 10 listings.

Why do I do this to myself?

UPDATE 5:05PM: I've just sent the 10-gazillionth listing to B via email with a subject line that reads "Save Me From Myself".



The Today Show was referencing the "Lundberg Report" in reference to gas prices (?) this morning.

All I can think of is Office Space.


Half Marathon

This morning, I ran 2.5 miles without stopping, which is the best I've done so far. I'm feeling pretty great, especially considering that my body is clearing up the remnants of last week's stomach virus.

Now I just need to multiply that by 5 (or roughly 5, I don't know, no-one can do that kind of math) and speed it up a bit, and I'll be ready for May 4. Hopefully with some running partners.


I'm Not There

I've been kinda...disconnected lately. I guess if I wanted to MHP myself, I'd call it slightly dissociative.

Drifting along to another subject...I'm newly (again) obsessed with this since it was used during one of the commercials during the Superbowl. Something about it recalls movement and change and life progressing along (as it does, with or without your help).

Bonus: a lovely little reminder of Six Feet Under, which I still mourn and miss.


Isn't He Lovely?

As we speak (uh, write) B is on line, waiting to audition for Last Comic Standing. It's raining, and he's not a happy camper. Literally.

To witness the enthralling live coverage on his blog, send me an email. I can't provide a direct link as he references me by my "government name".

Exciting News

As it turns out, I may be am the best girlfriend EVER!

Not only am I graciously weathering the stomach virus that B passed along, but last night, I devoted my full attention to watching Best in Show recovering, so I allowed him to provide me with Gatorade and various Cup o' Soups as I lay on the couch.

I know, I rock.


It's Love, Part 2

Today, after my 5th trip to the bathroom within 2 hours, paired with uncomfortable abdominal cramps, it became clear that B has passed last week's stomach malady along to me.

(Issuing a preemptive apology to our bathroom. The carnage continues.)


It's Love

On Saturday, B accompanied me to East Petersburg, PA to attend my 2nd cousin's wedding, which involved a 3 hour car trip each way. And my wacky Mennonite family. And no dancing, nor alcohol at the reception. And he had been sick for the past 4 days.


Last night when I took Stewie out for his final walk, I stepped in dog shit. While wearing my favorite pair of sneakers. The ones that have a lot of grooves in the sole. I had barely started whining about it when B volunteered to clean them for me.


So There!

This morning on the subway, B had the nerve to suggest that he might not audition for Last Comic Standing.

I repaid his hesitation by claiming that if he didn't try out, I would never speak to him again.

And then spent the rest of the subway ride doing just that.