I am a Virgo. While I do not possess all typical Virgoan traits, I thoroughly embrace neatness and order.

This morning, to my great dismay, I woke to find water pouring out of my bathroom ceiling and tiles. It was even more upsetting to go charging upstairs to discover the source of the leak, and to have my neighbor answer his door clad only in his dingy underwear. I raced back downstairs (throwing up a little in my mouth) to find water seeping into my living room. After locating a bucket and placing all of my towels on the floor, my Super entered the apartment, assessed the damage, and told me nothing could be fixed for at least a week, so that the beams and the wood could dry out. I did the only thing I could: escaped to MM's where we spent the day on her couch, watching movies and bemoaning our cramps.

I'm home now, contemplating the soggy mess on my bathroom floor. Do you think if I go to yoga, the bathroom elves will have this cleaned up by the time I get back?


Uh Oh

My brother just called to invite me over for dinner. The Peanut is making dessert. When I asked if I could bring anything, he replied 'Your liver. Let's get our drink on and celebrate.'

Sunday Morning

Last week was extremely ridiculous, even by my standards. It was so ridiculous that last night, I was in bed by 8:30, and asleep shortly after that.

Monday: LK and I met up with her close friend, The Photographer, at El Centro for 'a drink'. Which turned into several drinks and dinner, followed by hanging out with MS, whom I called on my way home and cajoled into coming downstairs to smoke with me.

Tuesday: Late night craziness at my apartment with The Librarian.

Wednesday: Dinner in the 'hood, drinks at The Snug (which finally opened, yay!), champagne at The Renaissance, more drinks at Vintage.

Thursday: Book Club. (and no, we didn't ask or answer any of those discussion questions.. We mostly drank wine and deconstructed the latest US Weekly.) Then onto The Phoenix, followed by Bamboo52, and Posh. At Posh, I was unabashedly mean to a Sweaty PR Annoying Guy who just wouldn't go away. So I got meaner and meaner, and he still didn't leave us alone. Huh.

Friday: Dinner with JP to discuss the recent events between us, his hurt feelings at my non-attendance of his cocktail party, the woman that he is in love with in Boston, and the woman he is dating in New York. Feelings are soothed and the wine was good. Then off to Flatiron Lounge for a 2nd date with Anti-Robin Hood. It was good. Very, very good. Frighteningly good.

Saturday: 9:00 am train to Jones Beach. Sun, sand, gay men in satin jumpsuits, Lance in the water 99.9% of the time, Coronas from the beer man, hilarity.

I think I'm going to pause next week and spend some time at Long Beach Island. I need a break.



Thank you to everyone for your congratulations and good wishes. And to MM for the awesome Rod Stewart 1983 concert t-shirt which I'm currently wearing for the second day in a row. And to MM and Lost Girl for indulging in Renaissance Diner champagne last night (horrible, just horrible). And to MS for jumping up and down on 9th Avenue with me.




So, The Librarian graciously agreed to come over tonight and help me 'cope'. Because nothing sucks more than waiting. For news. About a job that you really want.

And after several margaritas, we just went to the trusty corner deli and bought
(2) 40 oz. Coronas
(1) Vanilla Silk Soymilk
(1) pack Camel Lights

Let the games begin...



I'm feeling so strange. MM thinks it's very entertaining, because I'm crazy. I feel elated at the possibility of the Dream Job, but also trying to keep everything in check in case I don't get it.

This makes for a strange space in which to live.


In the words of The Official Band of New Jersey, 'I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all.'

The interview was great. And on the way out, I ran into an acquaintance from graduate school who works there, who volunteered to put in a good word for me. The Interviewer said I would be notified on Wednesday.

I'm off to sit in the sun with LK. Maybe have some Coronas...


The Dream Is Alive!

My 2nd interview with Dream Job is scheduled for Monday morning at 10:00.

What do I do? Well, first blog, then continuous shower.


Breathing Room

I just spoke with Agency #2, and they want to check my references. And the position would not start until August 1st.

All readers, please direct any psychic energy that you possess toward Brooklyn, the Dream Job HR department and the Dream Job hiring manager.

I'm off to take another shower...


Working It

Just woke up from a much needed nap to discover a voicemail message from Social Service Agency #2, offering me a job. Crap. I mean, great. But crap. This is SO my second choice and I'm still waiting to hear from Dream Job. Do I take this offer and then quit if I get the other job?

I think I'll take a shower and think about this. Because when you have a difficult decision to make...you shower.


It's Not The Heat...

Yeah, that's right. I'm going to talk about the weather. Because, well, everyone else is talking about the weather lately, and I need to be just like everyone else, all the time.

You'd think NYC was under some kind of siege - what with the stalled subway lines, and the 'interupting this program to bring you a special report', and the cooling centers, and the heat indices...I haven't yet seen any signs of disaster-type shopping (you know, people loading up on bottled water, loaves of bread, and US Weekly) but then again, I've been avoiding convenience stores and supermarkets in a misguided attempt to Eat Out Of My Cupboards and Save Some Money.

I don't want to suggest that everyone is crazy, that this is just hot weather, and that I am immune to it all. For the better part of the past few days, I've been holed up in my apartment, cranking up my air conditioning and hoping that there won't be a blackout (although, if there *is* a blackout, it's certainly not my fault). I have to admit that I have been watching the news and looking at the weather maps with a certain sense of grim determination. When I have ventured out, I've seen people striding by who are barely breaking a sweat, and those who look like they might collapse at any moment. My particularly foolhardy moment was choosing to attend a 90 minute yoga class last night. I was a sodden, collapsed mess.

Oh well. At least I was smart enough to decline an invitation to a cocktail party this Thursday, hosted by my friend JP that I just hooked up with, and very possibly attended by A. Awkward!


Job Update

I just spoke with the Social Worker at my Dream Job, and I can only hope that I didn't sound as stressed out and nervous as I felt.

The good news: she wants to bring me in for a 2nd interview.
The bad news: she is also interviewing two other people, and she has space to hire two Social Workers. One of us will be voted off the island. Also, she is waiting to hear from her HR department, so she is not sure when the positions will open up.

She asked if I was currently working, and I said that I was close to receiving an offer from another agency (which I am). Does playing 'hard to get' extend to employment opportunities?



of course we hooked up
prosecco at 1 am
will do that to you

oh lovely shame-walk!
up 10th and past the convent
good morning, sister

oh [your friend] loves you
MS sing-songs in a taunt
no, he just loves sex


Well, I guess one possible way of figuring it out is to randomly hook up with one of your closest friends...


Comfort Is The Enemy Of Progress

I'm reflective lately (no, not with mirrors) and I'm examining my patterns, and the walls and the nests that I have built, and how much effort I've put into maintaining that comfortable space within and around my world. I'm happy, but I know I need to reach. I'm taking the risks, but only by half. The center will not hold forever.

This doesn't mean treating this summer as my own personal version of 'The Bachelorette', or, conversely, withdrawing into myself. The trick is to let people in (calm it down over there, Groomzilla) in a way that feels right to me.

I just don't know how. Any ideas???



It has recently been suggested to me that I have trouble letting people into my life. Last night, I was described as 'reserved'.

And then there's my horoscope for today...

Nobody is an island -- it's an obvious statement to say that you need relationships to get you through life. Other people provide the acid to your base, and can often be a perfect sounding board for your ideas. But in order to make the deep connections you need for total honesty, you must develop trust. The only way to do this is to take a risk and let someone in. So reach out today -- lower your drawbridge and invite someone to cross your moat.


Coney Island

Yesterday, The Librarian and I went to Coney Island to celebrate her birthday...

...with hot dogs and cheese fries. I've been eating a lot of hot dogs lately. Maybe I should turn this into a career.

...and funnel cake. Mmm, sweet funnel cake.

...and crazy-ass Grandma fortune tellers. You can't really see it, but there is an empty bottle of Bacardi in the booth with her, and she has a lazy eye.



Well. I had planned to regale all 10 million of my readers with tales from Ju's bachelorette party, which was held last night at The Soho House. I had hoped to post of pictures of the roof deck where we had dinner, or share gossip about canoodling famous people. I had at least thought that I'd be able to share my outrage at drink prices. Nope. Nada. Photography is forbidden due to possible Page 6 leakage, it seemed that there was nary a celebrity available for my reportage, and beverages were no more costly than in any other bar in the city.

We had a lovely dinner, followed by sedate cocktail drinking in the lounge, ending with a cab ride back to Hell's Kitchen and gravy fries at the Renaissance Diner. Actually, the most exciting part of last night, at least for me, was that I had somehow managed to coordinate a $10.99 dress and a $10.00 necklace into an outfit worthy of Soho House fabulousness. Oh, and that in that dress, I didn't inadvertently expose my chest in public.


Things I Am Not In The Mood For Today

1. Coffee with no Splenda and no ice. And no-one to blame but me for my Splenda-less and ice-less state.

2. Crappy, half-assed apologies from a friend who blew me off last night, and who has been blowing me off for the better part of the past week.

3. Laundry.

4. The kind of frantic apartment cleaning that comes from the realization that a) I haven't cleaned my apartment in a really long time, b) I have 8 people coming over for dinner and drinks tonight, and c) I have another friend staying with me for the weekend.

5. Coffee with no Splenda and no ice spilled all over my coffee table. Ha Ha.

6. Slightly aggressive e-mails from potential dates via match.com, asking if I've 'disappeared'.

7. Thoughts about why I've let my apartment get so dirty. I'm not working, and I'm obviously not cleaning, so what the hell am I doing with my life?

8. A slight nicotine and alcohol hangover.

9. A broken iPod and a frustrating conversation with customer service about my expired warranty.

10. Sunshine, honking horns, and people who won't get the fuck out of my way on the sidewalk.


Thanks, MM!

This is the sound of one voice
One spirit, one voice
The sound of one who makes a choice
This is the sound of one voice

This is the sound of voices two
The sound of me singing with you
Helping each other to make it through
This is the sound of voices two

This is the sound of voices three
Singing together in harmony
Surrendering to the mystery
This is the sound of voices three

This is the sound of all of us
Singing with love and the will to trust
Leave the rest behind it will turn to dust
This is the sound of all of us

This is the sound of one voice
One people, one voice
A song for every one of us
This is the sound of one voice
This is the sound of one voice

Wailin' Jennys



Just back from New Jersey (is there an echo in here?). Again. My SIL's mother was suddenly hospitalized early in the week, so she went home to Connecticut to help with the crisis. I stayed with my brother to watch The Peanut while he went to work.

[Note to Self: May be wise to curb those thoughts about having a child on my own at age 35. I could never do this alone, and my niece is the most well-behaved child on the planet.]

I've spent the past few days laughin' and goofin' (her words) and watching Barney far too many times, and Eskimo kissing, and doing bead projects, and hearing 'love you, JoJo', and splashing in baths, and listening to the elaborate stories The Peanut concocts on her way to falling asleep in her 'chib' (her words). Despite the exhaustion, we've had fun. And in the back of my mind, this has felt like an extended playdate, rather than my SIL's family emergency. My niece breaks my heart with her innocence, the way she says 'water' (wager) and 'little' (wiggle), the way she clings to me just after waking up in the morning. It's very likely she is going to lose her grandmother ('amma D) soon.

I ache for her, for my SIL and for my brother.


Dream Job

Just got back into the city after an idyllic time in New Jersey (ponder that for a while) on my parent's deck, barbequeing and playing with The Peanut.

I have a huge job interview tomorrow. This position would be a great opportunity for me, and would fit perfectly with the career that I want to develop. I can't even write much more about this for fear of the jinx.

I'm already starting to feel jittery.


Lazy Sunday

Oh! It's July. This means that I absolutely need to check my horoscope. Other than a 9:00 pm showing of Superman Returns, my only other agenda item for the day is sitting on my couch and nursing a cold. I hate summer colds. They seem to linger more than other colds, and they just feel wrong. If my nose is running and my head aches and my cough sounds like something that belongs to a chain-smoking 80-year-old, and it's December - fine. But when it's bright and sunny outside? Wrong.

Friday night, had an awesome dinner in Fort Greene with DJ & BC *and* got to drool over their super-cute new apartment. I think I need to move to Brooklyn.

Yesterday, had an awesome (really need to stop using that word so much) day at Jones Beach, and an even better time eating dumplings and drinking gin & tonic in Miss Margaret's backyard garden (alcohol generously donated by MS & Groom, leftover from the wedding), followed by a bizarre foray into the Meatpacking District with the aforementioned grooms (during which we received roughly 1,274 dismissive looks, probably based upon our beach attire/bags) to meet up with my high school friend for a regrettably brief encounter after which I returned home and took the second best shower of my life (the first) and fell into bed.

Random Thought: Would it be appropriate during a job interview, when asked what my biggest weakness is, to tell the interviewer about my overuse of the word awesome?