Perspective

Just back from New Jersey (is there an echo in here?). Again. My SIL's mother was suddenly hospitalized early in the week, so she went home to Connecticut to help with the crisis. I stayed with my brother to watch The Peanut while he went to work.

[Note to Self: May be wise to curb those thoughts about having a child on my own at age 35. I could never do this alone, and my niece is the most well-behaved child on the planet.]

I've spent the past few days laughin' and goofin' (her words) and watching Barney far too many times, and Eskimo kissing, and doing bead projects, and hearing 'love you, JoJo', and splashing in baths, and listening to the elaborate stories The Peanut concocts on her way to falling asleep in her 'chib' (her words). Despite the exhaustion, we've had fun. And in the back of my mind, this has felt like an extended playdate, rather than my SIL's family emergency. My niece breaks my heart with her innocence, the way she says 'water' (wager) and 'little' (wiggle), the way she clings to me just after waking up in the morning. It's very likely she is going to lose her grandmother ('amma D) soon.

I ache for her, for my SIL and for my brother.