Disaster. Di-Sas-Ter.

I went to G&E's wedding last night with one simple, attainable goal in mind (formulated with DJ on Friday while she was on the train to Maryland): find a cute boy to kiss. Not to date, and certainly not to marry. Just someone to kiss.

When I couldn't find a place card with my table assignment, I should have taken that as a sign to turn around and go home.

I think I was the only single person there. I certainly felt like the only single person there.

There was an extra place setting at my table, so at least I was able to 'joke' with other guests about my invisible date. By the end of the night, my invisible date had a whole storyline assigned to him. You know, how he didn't have much to say, but I really thought there was a lot of potential...how we met at our local produce stand while wrangling over the last of the papayas...etc.

The conversation about my invisible date got old fast...not on my end, because I can indulge in that sort of ridiculous all night, but it looked like my table-mates were getting a little uncomfortable.

I excused myself to call L&D, who pointed out that me making a 40 minute phone call to them didn't exactly indicate that I was having a good time, and urged me to pack it in for the night.

I returned to the wedding to find Bon Jovi playing, and I rocked out to that a little bit. (My invisible boyfriend likes them too, so we danced together. He's fun like that.)

And then returned to my table and sat next to Buzzkill, who asked if I was dating anyone, which led into a discussion about my bad luck, and then a recounting of my 'bad luck' when it seemed that she didn't really believe that I had had bad luck, which devolved into a conversation about JP and what his intentions are for their future.

I finally wised up and said my goodbyes when the song that would have been my wedding song was played, and even the chocolate fondant couldn't compensate for how shitty I was feeling.

No kissing, no cute boy. But on the bright side, there was also no inapppropriate drunkneness, crying, or comfort eating.