New York Apartment Game

Tomorrow morning, I am going to subject myself to an open house apartment viewing on the UWS. I think this is crazy, but I need to move. I'm waving the white flag - the bugs have won. At this point, I am so delusional/paranoid that every night when I get into bed and turn out the light, I picture the leader of the bedbugs whistling to his (of course it's a he) cronies to begin the attack. I have begun to believe that they are smarter than me and that they cannot be stopped.

The ad for the new apartment says 'PROFESSIONALS ONLY'. Does being a professional graduate student count???