I Rock...Sometimes

I had my last cigarette 8 weeks ago today. And, as NJQuitnet has so helpfully reminded me, I've saved $336.00 and added 6 days and 11 hours to my life. And I haven't had 847 cigarettes. Wow. That's a lot of time that I've not spent leaning out my kitchen window blowing smoke into the airshaft, or not standing outside of a bar while my friends are inside. I've only been seriously tempted once, and that was at my birthday party, and at that point, I was mostly just pissed off and wanted to smoke to remind myself of how much of a badass I am. So, 8 weeks. Yay me!

Last night, DJ and celebrated Yom Kippur at her apartment. I'd always known it was the day of atonement, but DJ explained that, for her, the holiday wasn't so much about repentance but about resolutions for the coming year. We drank some wine, we ate dinner, we talked. I was finally able to tell her what has been going on in my head lately. I couldn't look at her while I did it, but it was okay. I felt safe, and I felt loved.

So now here's the trick...to be able to tell everyone in my life what I am feeling, and know that it will be okay.