Home Safely

I just got back from dinner in Hoboken, and I remain thankful that I no longer live in there, as I did for the three years directly after college.

1) You can still smoke in bars and restaurants, and at one time, I would have thought that this was great, but as an ex-smoker who is on her 9th cigarette-free week, this is just annoying.

2) The men (or, more accurately, boys) in Hoboken still think that the most effective way to demonstrate their interest in you is to ask how you're 'doin'. I wish I was kidding about this, because it's such a cliche. But no, still true.

3) There are still long lines in front of bars that suck. Bars in which loud, thumping music can be heard from blocks away and the entire atmosphere just looks...sweaty. And cologne infused.

4) The PATH train is still as loud and crowded as I remembered. There are still drunk stupid girls who are just so tiny and so precious that they can't be expected to keep their itty-bitty balance while the train is in motion, and thus, it's not their fault when they sway into you repeatedly, or dig their spike heels into your feet. As a rule, they never apologize.

5) And then someone pukes on the PATH train.

6) And the guidos who are sitting directly across from you start to make rude comments which are loud enough to be heard over your iPod about the lesbian couple who are sitting beside you.

Now I'm home, and it's reading 'no program data' on every channel of my television, so I don't know what I'm watching. My parents don't have digital cable, and thus never have information at the bottom of the screen about what's on. I don't know how they watch tv this way. This is very disconcerting.