Good Example

I'm going to be an awesome parent someday. Consider all that I've achieved in the past 48 hours:

• Advising EJ, age 10: The raw eggs in uncooked brownie mix are actually good for you, and may conteract the growth-stunting effects of coffee. This is how I grew to my current 5'5".
• Balancing baby Audrey in one arm, drinking wine with the other...and not spilling a drop. Or a baby.
• Contributing $7.00 to the 'swear jar' ($1.00 per offense).
• Inventing a game where the players run at each other, throwing a nerf ball with as much force as possible at the other person, while yelling out random items off a Chinese food menu (HAPPY FAMILY!!!!!!).
• Eating brownies with fudge topping for breakfast.
• Watching hours upon hours of cartoons on Sunday morning.
• Winning various staring, cross-eyed, 'see food' contests. And loudly proclaiming my dominance.
• Adding to the tolerable level of chaos which already exists in a household full of kids and pets.