Theater of the Absurd

At dinner last night, The Lawyer and I had a protracted discussion about romantic relationships, which somehow veered into past romantic relationships, then deteriorated into a lot of emphatic gesturing with chopsticks (which was strange since we were at an Italian restaurant). Somehow we got the conversation back on the right course (absurdity) and we developed a list of the ridiculous things that boys/men have said to me.

High School Boyfriend: 'Next year, you'll come back from Syracuse and we'll go to my Junior prom.' (he was two years younger than me).
Big Fat Baby Crier: 'BFBC was the boy that no-one wanted to play with.' (habit of refering to himself in the third person).
Mini: 'ridiculous, you're looking a little thick' (said while we were getting dressed to go out for Valentine's Day).
The Jammer: 'You've got me harder than Chinese algebra.' (no commentary possible here).
The Pledge Master: 'I promised my best friend I'd take her to my formal months ago, but I still want you to go, so I'll get one of my pledges to take you.' (best friend = girlfriend).

I'll be out tonight in Hell's Kitchen, looking to collect more lines...