I'm Still Fun...Right?

So, last night, after a very long day at work, and an even longer training session for SAVI after work, I met up with JP for drinks. (Actually, he insists that I heretofore refer to going out for drinks with quotation marks - air quotes if I am speaking about it - because I am no longer drinking alcohol.). Ok, so last night I met up with JP for "drinks".

JP is having romantic issues. JP is always having romantic issues. I am the frequent audience for discussion of his romantic issues. While he usually finds himself in similar situations (drama, emotional unavailability), he always has hope. No matter how many times love has kicked him in the ass, he keeps trying. He is straightforward and honest about what he is feeling even when there are no guarentees that his feelings will be returned. I think that expression is an incredibly strong and beautiful choice.

On the other hand, I hate seeing him so sad and worried and in pain.

I sat and listened and counseled and resisted the urge to slap him upside the head, and then we eventually started laughing at ourselves and each other and the atmosphere got lighter. I believe the turning point was when he openly mocked me for referring to certain relationships as 'organic'. When we stopped giggling about what a pretentious asshole I can be, he said that he misses being silly with me. And this led into a discussion of exactly why I've had a decided lack of silliness lately. And then we both thought about driving down to Philadelphia last night to go out with some of JP's clients (which was dismissed as impractical).

So, me being me, I went home and quite deliberately considered how fun I am. And me being even more me, I'm still thinking about it today (obsessing might be a better word). Am I too serious now? If so, where is this coming from? Is this a permanent condition?

I might have to go out and do something deliberately wacky tonight. But it seems that planning for craziness is just another indicator of the severity of my predicament.