Oh Great Googly Moogly

I've been a major asshole since I've returned from vacation.

It's been extremely hard for me to return to New York City after being away. The things that usually don't bother me (crowds, noise, sirens, rudeness) are amplified. During my commute home on Tuesday, some fucktard was sitting in my subway car (yes, MY subway car) openly smoking a cigarette. And no-one wanted to ask him to put it out because he looked a little crazy.

Sigh. The end of summer + minor NYC annoyances + rapidly approaching 35th birthday = ridiculouschick in a very bad mood.

B has been doing his best to weather the storm. After only dating me for 2 months, he seems to have perfected the art of knowing when to give me space, when to make fun of my unreasonableness, and when to listen/support/commiserate. He understands why I'm pushing and testing him, and tells me that my behavior doesn't change how he feels about me. He's patient without being pathetic. I'm only beginning to realize how much he cares about me, which, because I am somewhat crazy, leads to internal freak outs and bratty behavior.

Thankfully, my therapist is back from her vacation to absorb some of the foolishness and once again, point out the ways that I sabotage the things I care about.

For now, it's time to move out of my head and get some work done. Oh, and get a haircut, because B and I are going out to dinner and the very least I can do is try to look good for the boy.