Doing The Limbo

I have a confession to make: I'm no good at waiting. At heart, I'm a planner. I live by my calendar, my appointments, and my schedule. As much as I'd like to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl (what does that mean anyway? pants?), I can't let go of my need to organize and obsess.

Lately, my life has been all about passing time. Everything feels like it is on delay. I can't start my job until I pass the physical exam, the tuberculosis test, and the toxicology screening. I can't go on vacation next week until I am sure that the above requirements have been met.

I stay home, and I suddenly want to be outside. I go out, and then all I want is to be back in my apartment, buried under my covers. I call friends to talk, but just want to be left alone.

This is a strange and beautiful time.